My skin ripples, a silent breeze of foreboding tickles the back of my neck. Darkness curls close, its touch as intimate to my senses as any lover’s grasp. So many shattered images surge to life behind my eyes and I have to slam a door on them within my mind. Still, heat blooms on my flesh as a phantom hand wraps itself around the curve of my hip. I squeeze my eyes closed.

The night howls with the absence of my sight.

Unseen creatures scramble and scratch against earth softened by the recent rain, Their sounds gouge at my mind and bring that shiver back to life. Shadows dance in the glaring red membrane of my eyelids. Every little thing awakens trepidation in my heart. With a long deep breath, I pull the stability of the earth into my soul. It shores up the weakening edges of my mind.

When I open my eyes again they are trained upon the flickering flame before me. Forces hidden to the normal eye tug at that fire. I exhale all the air from my lungs, long and low and controlled. With each wisp of air that leaves my body those beings yank the flame higher, fuller. Far beyond the bounds which should have been possible of that simple wick. My intentions feed the fire better than simple kindling.

It’s dance is magic. Mesmerizing. If one were weaker willed they could easily lose their mind in its grasp. Though I feel the gentle tugging of the shadow being, I cut them off. My focus returns to the task at hand.

The scent of grass and dirt swells in my mind. Earth. Flames dance, awaiting my instructions. Fire. A breeze, much gentler now that the fire has devoured my intentions, plays with gossamer strands of my hair. Air. Whispering, playing, waters rush through the creek at my side, they murmur gentle secrets only I can decipher. Water.

Elements strum through me, vibrate in a delicate resonance with one another. My heart, my soul, sings an answer I don’t know the words of. But, I know what comes next.

Silver glints from between long blades of oh-so-green grass. The weapon reflects gleaming moonlight up into my face. My heart stutters, just for a split-second, but that’s all it takes. Shadows stretch toward me from the bases of all the trees surrounding the clearing I’d chosen. Their harsh whispers grate on my senses, they nearly drown out the waters, nearly.

Rushing streams flow through my mind. Slip into the fissures and furrows in my core. Rinse me free of my fears. Strength spools through my muscles as I pin my gaze back on the fire, the warmth settles once more into me as the other elements huddle close. One more breath. One element left. A single step remains.

My lips purse tight as fingers, pressed forward by the power of the elements, wrap tightly around a leather-clad handle. That touch shoots electricity up my arm and deep into the musculature of my heart. My teeth clench against the pain, doubtless more will come. Nothing worth having is gained without sacrifice. In a locked battle with the weapon in my hand, I drag it upward inch by inch. Each scrap of distance I win sends another electric pulse through my body. 

Metallic and bitter, blood pools in my mouth. The tip of my tongue somehow slips between dangerously sharp teeth. They sink deep into the soft flesh without thought. The sensation of that pain is barely a blip within the field of my consciousness. My skin prickles with the feather-light, unseen touches of those beings within the darkness. They poke and they prod. Their sharp talons leave lines of red on my skin, the especially incessant ones send blood dripping slowly over my skin. Even as that blade quivers in my grasp, nearly a foot higher, I pay them no heed.

Midnight black, my eyes zero in on the shining silver. I draw strength, scraps of it, from where my knees dig into the stable earth. Gently the wing flutters over my skin, it offers momentary reprieve between the searing claws and talons and teeth. Staring at that blade my breath comes out a whisper, my vocal chords restrained by all the darkest pieces of the world.

I won’t take it.

My voice tears from my throat, leaving a ragged warzone in its wake as I yell loudly out into the night. “I call thee. I summon thee.”

Soft and warm, my lips part. Blood drips from their corners. I allow myself a moment to whet them before I try again. As I gather strength to my core, the blade drops, dives toward my upheld hand. The center of my bare palm tightens a second before the tip of that knife bites deep into my flesh. My chest constricts. Lighting ricocheting within my body is multiplied ten-fold. The teeth in my mouth feel likely to crack in half. Words sear from my lips and tongue, drowning with my intentions.

“Voco te! Ego vocare te!”

Eternity breathes through me. Exhilaration and agony. Inescapable love and unending suffering. Life, death, purgatory, impossibilities and undeniable, unexplainable truth. My soul whips into a torrent as beautiful torment shreds through my mortal coil. As all of life spirals incessantly through me, I nearly give in. The emotional, mental, whiplash is too much. Word shiver, afraid, upon the tip of my tongue. Blood, a thick metallic merlot, slowly dangles from the edge of my palm and I pour every shred of my desires into the words waiting to be released. My heart swells to bursting.

“Te invoco te neat te! Ad cor meum et animam meam in pectore, trepidantia consulit, pro reliquis diebus vitae meae…”

With each word the madness inside of my body translates into the world. Trees thrash at their moorings, appearing for all the violence as a wild throng of creatures vying for freedom from the earth. Guttering to nothing more than the smallest flicker the flame looks nigh on disappearing until it suddenly rears as high as a flamethrower before my eyes. Winds, vicious beyond measure, snap branches and howl through the deepest edges of the woods. To my side the waters of that little creek sound as great and terrifying as any tsunami.

Bones deep within my pitiful flesh bow under the weight of the world. I feel nigh on snapping in half, tears course freely down my face. A mirror to the unstoppable creek. My heart aches as it battles with the world, it melts the flesh surrounding it. Weak and wobbling, my lungs shrivel from the heat with nowhere to escape to. The normally damp surface of my eyes dries out as the last words break free of my mouth.

“...et ego te allergies duplicia!”

When my tongue taps at my teeth for that first letter of the final word, the viscous drop of my blood soars to the ground. The storm stills as my blood seeps into the earth. SOUL.

The final element.

Around me the world hums with content energy. The words, the spell I have uttered, resonates in harmony with my longing. They repeat on a loop within my mind as I beg for the spell to hold. My eyes slip closed and I immerse myself in them.

‘I call thee, I summon thee, I invoke thee, bind thee. To my heart, to the quivering soul in my chest, for the rest of my days, I bind thee.’

The mantra sings on a loop, eventually the latin and english blur together and yet I still clench my eyes tight. The world rocks around me. It swirls end over end. Creatures from before return to test me but even they cannot break my focus. 

Eventually, minutes later? Hours? Velvet softness caresses my fingertips where they rest splayed over my knees. That one little contact stops all thought. It silences the creatures of darkness. An empty core to my heart which I had not realized was there is filled. Every muscle in my body jolts when the clang of a heavy padlock closing emanates from the center of my soul.

Despite the whisper of fear that ignites inside me, I allow my eyes to crack open.

It hovers low to the ground before me. Shadows wreathed in brambles, the hint of the candle’s flame outlines it’s barely substantive form. A rough snout noses at the knife where it fell on the ground. A tongue of shadows darts from it’s form and tastes my blood from the blade. Chills travel the length of my spine until it’s snout nuzzles me again. That gentle brush imbues me with a new wave of energy.

Something beautiful and bright awakens in me and I smile beatifically at the shadow. It purr-growls in response. The flames flicker, sputter, die, thrusting us into darkness only broken by the glimmer of the moon. With a groan I push to my feet, the press of the elements fades into the background once again. Delicate, they still nudge at my senses, a reminder that they will forever heed my call.

With my good hand, I slip the blood-stained blade into its sheath at my hip. The candle lies forgotten among the grasses as I trail my fingers through the gossamer shadows at my side. It presses close to my calves, each time we brush against one another that blossoming sense of rightness in my chest expands. Cloaked in darkness I lead my familiar out of the grove, it’s grisly purr drenches my sore and tired muscles. It nudges me toward home.

The second we step beyond the outer edge of the grove my eyes are drawn downward by a flash of white. The worn corners of my lips curl upward when vibrant blue eyes, much more intelligent than they should be, stare up at me from the soft face of a pure white kitten. It twines between my legs and mews softly up at me, the demand is clear.

Home.

Vibrant orange sunlight paints the sky when we finally break free of the forest.